Friends are supposed to be the people you can rely on for steady love, compassion, and support. One of the most heartbreaking things is when a friendship has turned toxic. In today’s article, we’ll be discussing how to recognize when you’re in an unhealthy relationship with a friend, how to effectively deal with it, and ultimately - how to end it.
Sometimes the hardest part about toxic friendships is simply recognizing it. However, this is the first difficult step that you need to take in order to move forward from the harmful relationship. Someone who puts you down and genuinely treats you badly is not a friend. Sadly it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been friends. If they’re mistreating you - they’re not somebody you should be surrounding yourself with. Friends should uplift and make you feel better about yourself.
Once you’ve reflected and recognized that this friend isn’t really who you thought they were, it’s time to figure out how you’re best going to deal with it. It can be difficult to completely cut off a toxic friend if you see them on a daily basis or they’re part of a mutual friend group. Some suggestions are to:
- Hide them on your social media accounts
- Change the way you react to their remark
- Try to communicate less with them
- Find effective ways to see them less
- Finally, forget about them
Most of the time, people are being unnecessarily rude to those they are jealous of. This is in no way condoning their behavior, but it can be easier to let go of these friendships if you can understand why they’re acting the way they are. This really has nothing to do with you, it’s more about their own insecurities and ego getting the best of them. In the end, a true friend should celebrate your achievements and victories, not become jealous and hateful because of them. Most of the time they don’t even realize they’re putting you down or being toxic, it’s just the way they are and learning lessons to move on and find better people. It may feel difficult to cut off a toxic relationship, but just remind yourself that you are your number one priority.
We also let them linger around our lives and not address the issues. We get worried being alone rather than our own well-being. Keep in mind that it's not an overnight process. It can take several months, even years, to let go of that person. Once you finally do, you'll look back and realize how better your life is without them.
What do you appreciate most about the healthy relationships you have with your friends? What do you look for in a good friend? And have you dealt with a toxic friend before?
34 comments
Last year was the hardest year of my life due to toxic friends. I was friends with this girl for 4 years and I never even realized how often I overlooked her degrading comments and negative energy. When I made one comment back to her she completely cut me out of her life and took my friend group with her. Over the past couple of months I’ve had to adjust to being completely alienated (praise my boyfriend). Reading words like these make me feel like there are so many others who have experienced what I did. Also so telling about how to find new friends that aren’t so toxic in the first place. thank u :/
I had a toxic friend who I met last semester at college. She first seemed great, I introduced her to my friends and we all became close fast. But overtime she started talking about me behind my back to my best friend, every time they hung out, she would talk about me. My best friend later texted me about it & I tried to confront her, she told me “I don’t have any hate for you, I love you, you mean a lot to me.” and she would make comments about how quite I am so, every time she was around I would try to be more happy and cheerful and talkative so she wouldn’t say stuff like that to me. I eventually removed myself from the friend group and I’m a lot better(:
I am actually going through this exact situation right now. They’ve been my friends for over 5 years and it turned toxic because I made a decision they didn’t agree with. When that happened, they exiled me from our friend group even though we are all grown a** women. It’s hard for me to cut them off because they’ve been my friends for so long and it feels wrong but I know it’s bad for my health. This article helped a lot and I hope it gives me the courage to eventually cut them off and totally focus on the people who love me for me.
I had to let go of my toxic best friend before because she would put me down with things I wanted to do. She would always say I would copy her or just tell me to not do it. But I stopped being friends with her and know I do what I want !! :p
Thank you so much for this i really needed it, i’ve had my fair share of toxic friends and struggled to cope with it but this article has really helped me im so so so grateful love u 🖤
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