Friends are supposed to be the people you can rely on for steady love, compassion, and support. One of the most heartbreaking things is when a friendship has turned toxic. In today’s article, we’ll be discussing how to recognize when you’re in an unhealthy relationship with a friend, how to effectively deal with it, and ultimately - how to end it.
Sometimes the hardest part about toxic friendships is simply recognizing it. However, this is the first difficult step that you need to take in order to move forward from the harmful relationship. Someone who puts you down and genuinely treats you badly is not a friend. Sadly it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been friends. If they’re mistreating you - they’re not somebody you should be surrounding yourself with. Friends should uplift and make you feel better about yourself.
Once you’ve reflected and recognized that this friend isn’t really who you thought they were, it’s time to figure out how you’re best going to deal with it. It can be difficult to completely cut off a toxic friend if you see them on a daily basis or they’re part of a mutual friend group. Some suggestions are to:
- Hide them on your social media accounts
- Change the way you react to their remark
- Try to communicate less with them
- Find effective ways to see them less
- Finally, forget about them
Most of the time, people are being unnecessarily rude to those they are jealous of. This is in no way condoning their behavior, but it can be easier to let go of these friendships if you can understand why they’re acting the way they are. This really has nothing to do with you, it’s more about their own insecurities and ego getting the best of them. In the end, a true friend should celebrate your achievements and victories, not become jealous and hateful because of them. Most of the time they don’t even realize they’re putting you down or being toxic, it’s just the way they are and learning lessons to move on and find better people. It may feel difficult to cut off a toxic relationship, but just remind yourself that you are your number one priority.
We also let them linger around our lives and not address the issues. We get worried being alone rather than our own well-being. Keep in mind that it's not an overnight process. It can take several months, even years, to let go of that person. Once you finally do, you'll look back and realize how better your life is without them.
What do you appreciate most about the healthy relationships you have with your friends? What do you look for in a good friend? And have you dealt with a toxic friend before?
xoxo,
Cry Baby
34 comments
This is a super important topic!! People never realize when it’s time to let someone go and i learned that last year. You’re never supposed to try and compete with your friends. You’re supposed to help them grow and encourage them to be their best! “Friends” who get jealous or envious of you are not your real, true companions. Don’t forget that!!
I’ve been going through a lot of shit with toxic friends and this helped me a lot…I adore these blog posts…thank you Esma 💕🧚♀️
I had to deal with 2 toxic friends during my sophomore year of high school and it was emotionally DRAINING. They would always try to find problems in anything that I said, purposely made situations seem like I made something awkward to make me look bad, whispered about me, hung out without me, belittled me every chance they could get, and overall they strived to tear me down. I felt like I had to put up with them because I didn’t really have any friends and that meant that I would have to be alone. Sophomore year ended and during the summer I avoided messages from them so that I can gain whatever confidence/strength I had left. Junior year then began and I felt so much better and wasn’t letting them tear me down and I know that took them by surprise because they were starting to stop. During the beginning of Junior year I made new friends in a class so it made it easier for me to rid myself of these two “friends” and I felt like weight was being lifted off my shoulders. Junior year was my favorite year in high school cause I got rid of toxic people and gained some friends that mean so much to me and they treat me so well :’) Now that I’m in college I reflect on the toxic friends and I realize that it really is insecurity and ego that got the best of them. I learned that I was NEVER the problem. I vowed to myself that I would never let anybody treat me this way because I deserve better than that! Sorry if this post got long, just needed to vent a little :)
i am currently dealing with this… thank u so much
This blog is so on time- thank you!! I just had a huge fight with someone I was best friends with for 3 years. It started over a minuscule comment and then expanded to involve our whole friendship. She had been really toxic for a while now and when we both spoke our minds about everything we hurt each other really badly. We decided to take a break and regroup later. But I’m not sure if I want to because the past few months have been so painful. So thanks for this article and the comments!! It really helps to know I’m not the only one struggling with friendships.