Toxic Friends: What to Do

Friends are supposed to be the people you can rely on for steady love, compassion, and support. One of the most heartbreaking things is when a friendship has turned toxic. In today’s article, we’ll be discussing how to recognize when you’re in an unhealthy relationship with a friend, how to effectively deal with it, and ultimately - how to end it.


Sometimes the hardest part about toxic friendships is simply recognizing it. However, this is the first difficult step that you need to take in order to move forward from the harmful relationship. Someone who puts you down and genuinely treats you badly is not a friend. Sadly it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been friends. If they’re mistreating you - they’re not somebody you should be surrounding yourself with. Friends should uplift and make you feel better about yourself.


Once you’ve reflected and recognized that this friend isn’t really who you thought they were, it’s time to figure out how you’re best going to deal with it. It can be difficult to completely cut off a toxic friend if you see them on a daily basis or they’re part of a mutual friend group. Some suggestions are to:


  1. Hide them on your social media accounts
  2. Change the way you react to their remark
  3. Try to communicate less with them
  4. Find effective ways to see them less
  5. Finally, forget about them


Most of the time, people are being unnecessarily rude to those they are jealous of. This is in no way condoning their behavior, but it can be easier to let go of these friendships if you can understand why they’re acting the way they are. This really has nothing to do with you, it’s more about their own insecurities and ego getting the best of them. In the end, a true friend should celebrate your achievements and victories, not become jealous and hateful because of them. Most of the time they don’t even realize they’re putting you down or being toxic, it’s just the way they are and learning lessons to move on and find better people. It may feel difficult to cut off a toxic relationship, but just remind yourself that you are your number one priority.

We also let them linger around our lives and not address the issues. We get worried being alone rather than our own well-being. Keep in mind that it's not an overnight process. It can take several months, even years, to let go of that person. Once you finally do, you'll look back and realize how better your life is without them.


What do you appreciate most about the healthy relationships you have with your friends? What do you look for in a good friend? And have you dealt with a toxic friend before?

 

xoxo,

Cry Baby

34 comments

  • I’m sorry for the long post but this is so important to me. I went through this last year with two friends I used to work with. I always felt awful after hanging out with them. They always picked on me because I don’t have a boyfriend and they always judged my decisions and interests which made me start to question the friendship. I started to feel like a burden. I noticed that they would hangout without me which is fine because they would go on double dates with their boyfriends but the one time I hung out with someone I worked with they literally asked me “who said you could hang out with someone else?” And then last year I had to cancel on them a few times because I had a death in the family and to be honest I was still upset from the last time I had seen them. When I was ready to see them again they said “no thanks” because I “never hung out with them anymore.” It had been two months. So, a 5 year friendship ended because I was busy and my grandmother died. Although, I’m happy I no longer have to experience their toxicity anymore, I still feel terrible. What still gets me is that I don’t think they realize the hell they put me through, how I hated myself after I hung out with them, and how they never supported me. I’m sure they feel like they’ve done nothing wrong and it’s all my fault for what happened. One positive thing I can walk away with is the ability to tell the difference between a true friendship and a toxic one. Thank you so much for this article!!

    Phoebe
  • I have went through this in high school and thankfully I am graduated now and do not have to see the toxic friends I was around. I can say that drifting apart by just keeping my distance really worked. I gained new people that appreciate me for who I am and I am so much happier without the toxicity.

    Lanie
  • I’ve have friends in the past who’ve made me feel shitty about being better at things than them and wanted me to pity them for being that way. I’ve also had friends who’ve tried to tell me I can’t do anything without them and have told people about my personal life behind my back, while talking poorly about me. The best way I got out was honestly keeping my distance. The guilt when cutting ties is also a normal feeling at first until you fully realize you’re doing so much better once they are gone.

    Aaliyah
  • I’ve have friends in the past who’ve made me feel shitty about being better at things than them and wanted me to pity them for being that way. I’ve also had friends who’ve tried to tell me I can’t do anything without them and have told people about my personal life behind my back, while talking poorly about me. The best way I got out was honestly keeping my distance. The guilt when cutting ties is also a normal feeling at first until you fully realize you’re doing so much better once they are gone.

    Aaliyah
  • This was so amazing and eye-opening to read. I’m unfortunately starting to see the real colors of my so-called friends after a year and now I feel more confident to begin breaking off the chain. xoxo

    Jada
  • “Find effective ways to see them less,” honestly works. I tried this and the distance felt so good. Also, after doing this a while we drifted apart—again, felt so good.

    Gaby
  • Needed this… I’m going through it rn to the point where I dread things I used to love because of them.

    Kenzie
  • I’ve had to cut off several people in the past 2years … I would at first feel so guilty I had nightmares about it but then after I realized it was for the better my life improved !

    Nicole
  • I’ve had several experiences where people who I thought were friends of mine would try to talk to me about people who they knew I was close to. They would try to gossip or spread lies or catch me talking crap… when I was younger I didn’t know what to do, but as I got older, I realized I can tell people I’m gonna like who I want to like. That I’m not gonna talk badly about a friend of mine for the sake of pleasing them. Good friends don’t try to cause rifts in other friendships for the sake of competition; they’re supposed to build you up and support you. Never be afraid to speak up for yourself and the people you love. If someone isn’t cool with that, they aren’t worth it 💗

    Carlee
  • It’s so funny how I saw this just after I broke up with my friend of 3 years. She was being completely rude to me and my boyfriend because we are friends with her ex. She’s been sabotaging him ever since they broke up so he would stay with her. She never cared about my feelings and only cared about her reputation. Now she’s cut out of my life and I can finally breathe again. ♥️

    Mackenzie
  • This is a super important topic!! People never realize when it’s time to let someone go and i learned that last year. You’re never supposed to try and compete with your friends. You’re supposed to help them grow and encourage them to be their best! “Friends” who get jealous or envious of you are not your real, true companions. Don’t forget that!!

    Janai
  • I’ve been going through a lot of shit with toxic friends and this helped me a lot…I adore these blog posts…thank you Esma 💕🧚‍♀️

    Grace W.

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