Whether it’s in a relationship, friendship, or job - rejection sucks. It hurts not only our feelings but often it hurts our pride and confidence. So many people let the fear of rejection consume them to the point where they don’t even try going after whatever it is that they want. If you got rejected in some way, you showed an act of bravery and commitment. You’re farther ahead than those who never try and that’s something to admire.
You should also consider why they may have rejected you- maybe it was something more personal to them, or just did not know how to accept your offer. Sometimes the rejection has to happen because it isn’t the right time. I always say- what’s meant to be will find its way back to you. We’ve curated some ways to get over or treat your rejection in a healthy, positive manner. This way you don’t have to let the fear of rejection keep you from going after what you want.
- Understand and Accept What You’re Feeling
Rachel Wright, a therapist in New York says, “Heartache is real - it’s not just some metaphorical thing. Our brains literally experience rejection as physical pain." Take a moment to reflect on the situation and how you’re reacting. It’s okay to be feeling the way you do, it’s a completely natural response. This is the first step to deal with rejection, which will seamlessly lead into the rest of the more productive strategies.
- Rephrase the Meaning of Rejection
Most of the time, you’re getting rejected not because of you, but because of them. If you remind yourself of this and think of it in this sense, then it doesn’t have to hurt you as much as you may have initially thought. This is happening for you, not to you! You don’t have to be so hard on yourself or blame yourself. Look at the situation and recognize the truth in the underlying matter.
- Phone a Friend
Loved ones are more than happy to bring you up when you’re down and lift your spirits. Don’t feel selfish if you ask them to hype you up a bit! We’re always so hard on ourselves and can easily forget all of our amazing and honest qualities. Those who love us see so much good in us that they will reassure you and be there for you when you’re down in the dumps from rejection.
- Make Time For Yourself
I personally always say that whenever you get rejected, it happens for a reason, and that reason for me is to work and better yourself more. Use this frustration to have an incredible workout. Write down your thoughts and true feelings in a journal and let it all out. Get extra hours of sleep. Volunteer your time. These forms of self-care are not only good for you to do regularly, but they can really help you organize your feelings and viewpoint on rejection.
- Don’t Let it Define You
Even after many rejections, it doesn’t define you and it doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It just means that you’re gaining more experience on how to approach different situations and how to react to them. Just because one person thinks one way about you doesn’t make it true and you shouldn’t feel the need to believe it. Often times the rejection plays in your favor and something better comes along.
- Learn From This Experience
What can you gain positively from your past rejections? How can you better react to rejection? It’s a perfect opportunity for growth and inner discovery. Become stronger and better. Learn about the parts of you that need some work. We're all on a journey for personal growth and improvement.
Take back the negativity and make rejection something powerful for you. Let us know if you've recently been rejected and how you'll overcome it in the comments below.
Love,
Cry Baby
20 comments
This post really hit home for me. I’ve never had a boyfriend, and have been rejected by the guy I liked in high school. This really hurt but has helped me grow as a human. As someone who sings and does theatre, Ive experienced rejection time and time again and it doesn’t necessarily get easier but I do become stronger. Your point about not letting rejection define you is especially poignant. thanks for this!
I think this all circles back to the need to feel validated and THAT’S OKAY! It’s all in you, baby girl 🤍
thought my ex and I broke up because we wanted to work on ourselves for a little, turns out trying to rekindle old feelings didn’t work because he says he “fell out of love” ouch. time to surround myself with family & friends & retail therapy via crybaby for the time being 🥺
Wow this article is actually really motivating for me. There are times where I feel scared or reluctant to chase after my career goals and dreams because of my fear of rejection and failure. It’s important to accept that rejection is normal and just a part of the journey.
Holy moly does this article hit home. I’ve been rejected each time I’ve had a crush since I was a kid. I was and still am the girl that’s considered second best, while my prettier friend/friends are the ones to get the attention. There was a situation earlier in January where my friend and I went out to a bar/club type of place and we happened to see this guy I had a small crush on that we previously knew from the last time we were there who I had talked to afterwards (who taught us how to dance and was super sweet) and he completely ignored me and was only interested in dancing with my friend and even though she rejected him for my benefit, he messaged her the next day “It was really great seeing you again last night” and didn’t message me. It really messed with my self esteem even though he isn’t worth my time or energy or anyones for that matter, it messed me up. Caused me to try and alter my appearance in a bad way. This article is super helpful and insightful in my healing… thank you so much. I wont let this continue to define me.
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