How to be Independent & Courageous
Someone suggested this topic and I can’t believe I haven’t written about this yet? How to be more independent, confident, and just go after what you want. I’ve been doing this for as long as I can remember. Maybe it’s because I’m a Gemini ;) or maybe it’s just because I’ve succeeded in all the tips below and know what I want in life. I’ve tried to gather some tips on what makes me independent and courageous and I hope to help some of you become a better version of yourselves and go after what you want. Always remember, you can want someone in life, but you don’t need them.
The first step is to really know what you want and who you are.
You cannot be independent if you don’t know what you want and who you are. This is also the hardest part and it’s not an overnight thing to achieve. Find out what your purpose in this life is, what your passion is, and also what drives you. Luckily, I found out my purpose when I was 18 and stuck to it. I go after everything that I want to help my dreams and make sure that nothing gets in the way.
As for being independent, I just simply grew up independent and always learned more. From past experiences, I just didn't like to rely on anyone because people always let me down. I did a lot of things my own way and (I know this part is not good) but I never really listened to anyone when they told me what to do, including my parents (the biggest was not going to college and following the “normal” lifestyle, I know this is not good but it’s the truth and they do forgive me now haha). I just trusted myself, my gut, and did not let anyone step in the way of what I want. At the end of the day, all you have is yourself so why not make sure to listen to him/her :)
The second is to practice self-love to achieve confidence.
Sounds cheesy, but it's very important. If you don’t love yourself, you won’t have the courage to stand up for yourself as well as do things on your own. You’ll always wonder if someone is judging you and then you’ll just feel weak and hide, literally. I’ve been through it and I’m sure every one of you has too. The world will knock you down and the only way to come out of it is self-love and confidence. Once you achieve self-love and confidence, you will make sure that no one steps over you.
The most simple way to achieve this in my opinion is to just do one thing every day that makes you feel happy. Whether it’s purchasing a new lip gloss that you feel confident in, watching a bad-ass movie that makes you feel like a boss, or just taking a walk and enjoying nature. You really have to make it a habit to do this for 2 weeks and you’ll see a big change- I promise. Also, stop the negative thoughts. The biggest person that judges you is yourself. I promise no one is looking and laughing at you, no one notices the flaws that you notice… think about it this way, you look at yourself every single day so of course, you'll get sick of yourself (realize how we change our outfits and room decor, because we get sick of seeing the same thing every day) it’s the same way but applies to yourself. Change it up a bit and don’t be so hard on yourself.
Stop comparing yourself to others.
People compare themselves to you, you just don’t know it. After completing the above self-love/confidence topic, you’ll stop comparing yourself to others. Once you tell yourself that you’re the best and you got this, people will feel that energy and just look up to you even more. Trust me :)
Not mentally, because you’ll already achieve these with the steps above, but literally physically. When you’re stronger and work out your muscles, you’ll actually feel more confident. I’m a very petite person, but I’m strong for my body and I love just lifting weights (ankle and arm weights) when I’m bored just to make me feel better. I can literally feel when I’m getting stronger and it makes me feel so powerful!
Pretend you have it all already.
I’m definitely into manifesting, not so crazy into all the details, but just acting “as if.” I’ve done it since I was 16 and I had no idea it was an actual thing. One day, my local radio station was having a contest to have a BBQ with Justin Bieber and once I heard it, I already said ‘I’m going’ to myself. I remember begging my friends and family to call for days before the contest started, and I felt how annoyed everyone was lol, so I just simply did it myself and guess what? I was the first winner (they held the contest for the whole week). As soon as I told my friends and family that I won, no one believed me until they heard me on the radio screaming for the whole week (they literally used my voice for the promo!) It was just crazy that I told myself I’m going and I did. It sounds fake but once you try it, you’ll be amazed.
I do it for a lot of things, whether it’s getting a package earlier or getting something done my way. I’ll pretend it already happened or that it will happen and that’s it. I won’t lie and say it works all the time, but almost 95% of the time, and if it doesn’t work, don’t obsess about it, just move on- it isn’t meant for you.
Challenge yourself and take risks.
You will never grow and learn if you don’t challenge yourself here and there. Whether it’s taking simple risks, saving an x amount of money for a certain goal, or just doing something you’re scared of. You’ll never improve your life skills if you are always stuck in the same situation and mindset. You don’t want to be 23 with a mindset of an 18-year-old still. Get out of your comfort zone and challenge yourself each day.
Don’t give up.
Just because one thing went wrong with how you handled a certain situation independently, don’t worry and don't give up. Not everything will go perfectly always. You’ll learn from that experience and make sure to not do it again. Practice makes perfect and it’s definitely a big skill to achieve this. What’s the point of giving up if you have another chance tomorrow? Whenever this happens to me, I just think of how some people don’t get second chances and how we should be grateful that we do.
Know your role and your worth.
I’m sorry if this will sound harsh at first, but it needs to be said. Just because you are independent now, does not make you a CEO or a boss of some sort, unless that's what you’re going for ;) I mean to say that everyone has a certain role. You can wish to be this big powerful person, but in reality, some people are just not fit for it and that doesn’t mean that it’s bad. There is a certain role for everyone out there and don’t pretend to be something you are not comfortable with or relate to, it will just bring you down. You’ll immediately lose your confidence and independence. Don’t try to fit in. Know your worth so that no one will get to decide it for you. Know your role and be the best at it and own it.
This one is an extra/fun one. Find a character from a book/movie/TV show that has these certain skills that you look up to and try to see how they do things differently than you. This one is definitely just extra, do it if you wish but sometimes it’s fun to watch other characters, their traits can rub off on you for the better.
Now that you’ve done everything above, the last is to start thinking and doing things independently.
If you’re reading this article- you want to be a leader, not a follower. Stop agreeing with what everyone else says. If you continuously agree, you’re just following them. In some cases, that’s okay, but this article is how to be independent, not how to follow. Think for yourself and play devil’s advocate sometimes just to keep everyone alert, guessing, and on their toes. Anyways, when you get through the toughest times on your own, you’ll start to realize that you don’t care when someone leaves your life. That’s just better for you because they never cared in the first place. At the end of the day, all you have is yourself and if you can’t be independent and do stuff your way, then what’s the point?
I guess being independent is different for everyone. Self-love is the key to confidence. Confidence is the key to independence. Independence is the key to success. I literally just made that up right now but hopefully, that makes sense, lol. Also, just one thing to clarify here… just because you don’t need someone, doesn’t mean you don’t love them. Become the badass person you want to be and get ready for a new, more powerful, and courageous version of yourself. You have this one life to achieve anything you wish to, so go make all of your dreams a reality.
I hope this helped you. Let me know if you’re going to take any of these tips and become more independent.